From miserable alcoholic wreck to proud, free and loving
I was regularly and repeatedly trashing myself on massively excessive quantities of booze from January 1989 until October 2001. Good advice went in one ear and out the other. Money burned a hole in my pocket. Booze was my only true friend, right until the end.
Or so I thought.
But then the end came at 5:45am at Coogee beach on October 5th, 2001. I literally saw the pale, rosy coloured fingers of the light of dawn (thanks Homer – not Simpson!) and realised what a miserable wreck I had become. I thought I wanted to die.
The booze had stopped working its magic, and I was totally berieved and bereft of any sense of self-acceptance, self-love or self-respect. Worms had more backbone than I. The soles of my shoes were cleaner than my mind.
Today, six years on, I am proud, free and loving, 100% accepting of my fellow human beings, just the way they are and the way they are not.
The last hurdle remains, that is to be 100% accepting of myself, just the way I am and the way I am not.
Carl Jung said it well: “The most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely.”
There’s enough to tell to fill one thousand blog postings, so I will simply make this public declaration be the first step in that journey.
I say: “I am now willing to accept myself completely, the way I am AND the way I am not.”
“Vocatus atque non vocatus, Deus aderit.”
“Called or uncalled, God is present.” Amen.
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